Now you have musical choices

Christians used to have a problem of A) liking rock music, but B) listening to secular music. They had to do this because Christian rock music has always sucked eggs, and has always been oxy-moronic. And no, Stryper was not a good Christian metal band. They were gay and horrible, Jesus Christ.

If you are seriously Christian and seriously want to listen to heavy metal that reflects your religious values, you have been able to find it at least since the metal band Believer released their album Sanity Obscure in 1990.

You know who else has had this same kind of problem? Nazi Punks. Remember that song, “Nazi Punks, Fuck Off”? Well, out of morbid curiosity, I wanted to know what Nazi Punks were actually listening to because I wondered if maybe their music was soooooo good that despite the “nazi” lyrics it posed maybe a legitimate musical threat to regular punk rock. Lol, nope. Little did I know that “Nazi Punk Rock” had the same kind of problems that Christian rock had. I did what I thought was a pretty good dive into that genre and I couldn’t find anything musically listenable. That is, until I found the band Angry Aryans who allegedly didn’t release their first album until 1998. Which is extremely LATE in terms of punk rock. First of all, punk rock actually DID die in the 1980’s, and I was pretty sure it took “nazi punk” with it. What does the band Angry Aryans sound like? Exactly like DRI, or The Exploited, or any kind of punk-metal hybrid. The lyrics are different, but just like other punk rock music of that style you can’t really understand the lyrics too much because the vocals are gritty and raspy. Pray tell, what did nazi punk rock sound like in the 80’s? From what I found, it sounded like dog crap. Probably because they were fucking off in the 80’s just like the Dead Kennedys requested they do? Who can say. (If I’m wrong, email me a link to an 80’s “nazi punk” band that sounded musically legit.)

Christians and Nazi Punks really have to dig to find good rock music that reflects their values. It’s getting better for them today because there are musicians that did eventually make quality music for those genres. But despite that there’s still dog crap being churned out that they have to wade through before they get to the next musically legit artist of their genre.

All this is to say I used to really like the band Napalm Death. And now, somebody needs to write a song called, “Communist Metalheads, Fuck Off!” I think Napalm Death are technically socialists, just not “national socialists.” I guess more like “international socialists”? I don’t know. But their politics are gay as hell despite some of their bitchin’ guitar riffs. But like this article implies: we have real musical choices today. I don’t have to listen to communist metal because there’s no other good metal out there. There’s tons of great metal out there!

Jim Carrey is basically a communist, but this video is kind of amusing. Consider he shares the exact same values as the band Napalm Death.

You know who doesn’t have this problem is Satanists. They are truly musical fans with 0.000% boundaries. Obviously, if they wanted music that reflected their values they have to listen to mostly metal bands. But, they have the entire genre of “secular” at their doorstep. And they’re not worried if one of their favorite artists did something “bad” in their life. Rob Halford disclosed he was gay, and Satanists were not effected. Stevie Nicks had abortions, and Satanists were not effected. Michael Jackson touched kids, and Satanists were not effected. By the opposite token, if Christian rock sounds musical enough, Satanists will probably listen to it. Today, Satanists into yacht rock and Michael McDonald now have the easy listening band Ghost that reflects their values. Say what you want about Satanists, but when it comes to their personal music library, Satanists do whatever the fuck they want. There is something admirable about that.

Alas, I’m not a Satanist. I myself have some boundaries and rules. I admit I used to have as few music-listening rules as Satanists appear to. One of the reasons I changed is now there is way too much music and not enough time to listen to it all. So now I am much more discerning and discriminating.

I suppose I should bring up the band Rage Against the Machine. Nobody on the American political right or center should be listening to that band. Not only that, they’re not even all that good – musically. Their music is old, tired, and brings nothing to the table. Even if you’re a leftist that legitimately likes this band – congratulations, you’re a 90’s throwback. Not to mention, RATM is technically Raging With the Machine these days. It’s now Cringing With the Cringe. May God have mercy on your soul for being so cringe. The band’s shittacular political agenda has basically been accomplished and there’s plenty of other bullshit contemporary Masonic Hollywood shit RATM helped “make possible” that you could listen to. Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande, and beyond. What’s on Joe Biden’s shit-iPod? Find out and listen to that, and then send Zack de la Rocha a “thank you” note for making it possible.